Taro Pies. :D

I'm back again to rant out my thoughts.
If you can even call this a rant.

Envy. It's everywhere in my body.
Sometimes it takes over with a mind of its own. Sometimes rationally, sometimes insanely.

When I was 13, I set out on a mission to discover "my true self". With every year, that term brought more uncertainty and I kept telling myself that it will come eventually. Afterall, aren't these things one of those that comes with time? Well... I wasn't exactly right. What I'm not sure is whether I was wrong either.

7 years later and I feel like I've ran miles but I find myself at the exact same spot I was nearly a decade ago. I thought it would have come by now. Some light or some sign. Some certainty about this being that I am. About who I am, what I'm doing here. Find some purpose in this life. Find a purpose in living this life even. But I haven't. I haven't discovered anything. Haven't really experienced anything.

Envy. That's where the envy always is.
Envy that other people are so certain of who they are and why they are here.
Envy that other people have found their purpose in life.
Envy that other people are so comfortable with their life that they are living it instead of thinking of how to live it.
Envy that other people turn out as how they would naturally turn out.

Being so easily influenced, being someone who is a mix of everyone she's met...is really no joke.
I don't even know whether I'm drowning in my bubble or in the feat of the world.

Envy for that everyone is getting along with their lives. And I'm still stuck here reminiscing about the past and wishing time did not pass so fast. Karma that is the future. How ironic.

Tell me how to handle goodbyes.